Managing performance anxiety: how to prepare for the moments that matter

We all know the feeling. You’re about to stand up in front of a group. Your mouth goes dry and you wish you were anywhere else.

Anxiety is part of life. Surveys put fear of heights at around 30% of people, and creepy crawlies aren’t far behind. But the most common fear of all is speaking in public, at around 40%. The real figure is probably higher, because people don’t like admitting to something they see as a weakness.

Why it matters

This isn’t only about wedding speeches. I know someone who is already very successful, but would be a lot more successful if presenting to a group didn’t cause them so much stress. In much of the corporate world, how you appear counts for as much as what you do. A confident speaker is assumed to know their subject. A calm demeanour adds to credibility. Credibility is taken as a safe pair of hands, and the safe pair of hands gets the promotion.

Avoiding these speaking opportunities can hold you back in a big way.

Keep your anxiety at the right level

I’ve taught over 5,000 classes, and the largest audiences I’ve worked with have been a few hundred people. I enjoy speaking in public.

The way I describe it is a little electric charge. In my mental model this feeling has a level. The ideal level is when I feel that energy around me, at about chest level. That’s useful energy. It keeps me sharp. And as I speak, it almost always settles down.

The aim isn’t to get rid of nerves altogether. It’s to keep them at a level that works for you.

Preparation makes the difference

You need the practices to help you in the moment. But the real difference comes through preparation.

If I was appearing at the Royal Albert Hall, I would ensure I was prepared. I would focus on managing my stress level on the journey there and when I arrived. I would stay in touch with how I feel right up to the point where I walk onto the stage. From that point on, I have trained myself to plug into my physiology, so that comes naturally.

Remember that luck is where preparation meets opportunity.

The fastest ways to change how you feel

When the moment comes, a few simple things change your physiology, your psychology and your sense of being in control, all in a single breath.

Elbows by your sides. This is probably the quickest change you can make, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing.

A longer out-breath. Make it ever so slightly audible. That’s all you need to do.

Rest your tongue gently against the back of the top teeth.

Each slightly audible out-breath lets the shoulders release a little more. It’s an incremental relaxation. Then, if you notice tension anywhere, breathe in and, on the gentle exhale, scan down from the top of the body to the extremities: eyes, jaw, shoulders, hands, down through the body to the feet. The nervous system is like a Christmas tree, starting at the top and spreading out and down, so that’s the direction we release tension in.

Try this: relax first, then focus

1. Return to presence on arrival. Sit comfortably and notice a sound around you, or the breath, to bring yourself into the present moment.
2. Settle the body. Elbows by your sides, head balanced, tongue against the back of the top teeth. Let a few out-breaths become slightly longer and slightly audible.
3. Release stress and tension. On an out-breath, scan down from the top of the body to the fingers and feet. Let your body tell you where it needs to let go.
4. Light touch focus. Rest your thumb and first finger together on each hand, as lightly as you possibly can, until there’s only the faintest hint of contact. Bring that same light, soft attention to the rising and falling of the belly.
5. Release yourself from the thoughts. When a thought arises, notice it as part of the present moment, like a sound or a sensation. If it pulls you away, gently return to the breath. You can say “releasing, releasing” in the mind as you let it drift away.

This is the opposite of concentration. Concentration is gritted teeth and willpower. Light touch focus is soft and gentle, and it can be as relaxing as the relaxation itself. If you’re very tense, do it in this order: relax first, then focus.

Calm Under Pressure: a training day in Bromley

Managing performance anxiety is one of four modules on my Calm Under Pressure training day, on Saturday 14 November, 10:30am to 4pm, at Bromley Common.

On the day I’ll take you through a full walkthrough, with visualisation and preparation for an experience that makes you anxious, alongside Finding the Eye of the Storm, How to Rest Deeply in a World That Never Switches Off, and Dealing with Difficult People.

You can find all the details and book your place here.

Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash.